Song of the Day Turns Sappy

Not sure if it’s my mood today or just a need to change the emotional channel.  I’m interested in feedback on…

“A three years age difference is but a blink when your middle age, but 16 and 19 are two different planets.  But that summer our planets fell into each other’s orbit.”  (effective metaphor or weird and mixed?)

“After a brief exchange of “I’m so sorry” and “it’s for the best”, she closed the door and left me crumpled up in my bed.  Wailing.” (ideas on how to pack more of a punch with this?)

” Close to 30 years later and my heart breaks a little bit more every time I hear this song.” (too cheesy?)

Thanks,

W2S

SotD – January 21, 2015

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