OK…my goal tonight is to finish revising and editing, but I’m afraid that it may need more work than I realize. In the meantime, here’s one final excerpt before the final release. I think the metaphor in the closing sentence is weak. Ideas? Thanks.
I suddenly wished my grandmother was there by my side. The rule of one half was clearly not working. Unfortunately, I didn’t have a backup plan and so, despite my grandmother’s advice, I decided to pay the asking price. With a shaky hand on Don Zimmer, I stammered, “OK…I was really hoping to take this one home with me…er…uh…I’ll pay 12 cents.” Before I could lay claim to the rest of my wish list, the card guy cut me off with a devilish laugh that told me I was already in over my head and on a direct path to the bottom of the pool.