Micro-Memoir #4 – Reaching for the Topps (final excerpt)

OK…my goal tonight is to finish revising and editing, but I’m afraid that it may need more work than I realize.  In the meantime, here’s one final excerpt before the final release.  I think the metaphor in the closing sentence is weak.  Ideas?  Thanks.

I suddenly wished my grandmother was there by my side.  The rule of one half was clearly not working.  Unfortunately, I didn’t have a backup plan and so, despite my grandmother’s advice, I decided to pay the asking price.  With a shaky hand on Don Zimmer, I stammered, “OK…I was really hoping to take this one home with me…er…uh…I’ll pay 12 cents.”  Before I could lay claim to the rest of my wish list, the card guy cut me off with a devilish laugh that told me I was already in over my head and on a direct path to the bottom of the pool.